You Don't Touch Sora's Candy
by DeRaza360
Summary: CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK! What happens when a heartless touches Sora's candy?


_**Raza: This is CRACKED. It does not make any sense, has no plot to it, doesn't make sense, and involves candy. I most likely did this when I was drunk. I don't know. Stop asking me these questions! Please don't flame, for you have been warned. If you suffer from seizures then do not read this story.**_

_**P.S. Everyone is out of character and this is one chapter long.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or anything related to it. This applies to every chapter in this story.**_

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><p>One day Sora Presley was moon walking down the sidewalk passing by all the shops. Something caught Sora's eye, so he moon walked backwards until he could see just what caught his eye. He plastered his face to the glass window as he stared at his most favorite thing in the world.<p>

Sora broke through the glass door instead of opening it and ran straight through the store directly to the counter. A moogle flew out of the store like it was a football.

"Hello miss. My name's Sora and I'd like to buy that thing right there." Sora said as he pointed to the yellow jelly babies through the protective glass. The lady behind the counter said "Yes, Sora." and grabbed the packet which Sora had specified.

"Wait! And that one too." Sora said as he pointed to the bubble gum. Sora looked around at the sugar filled treats. "And that one, and that, and that, and this, and that, and lots of that, double the thing you got in your hand..."

Sora moon walked out of the store carrying five bags of candy and three lollipops stuffed in his mouth.

~x~

He was planning to go home and eat his candy, maybe share some of it, but make sure he ate the most. Sora's mind filled with the tantalizing thoughts of eating all the candy he just recently purchased when he moonwalked into something that felt like a huge brick wall and fell over.

Bits of candy and sugar rolled away from one of the now ripped bags.

"Hey Sora, watch where you're going." Riku said as he hoisted up his friend. "See you got yourself some treats there. Mind if I have some?"

Sora looked at the bags of goodness and turned to Riku. "Yeah, only if you carry the bags for me."

Riku sighed and picked up the five bags, the ripped one leaking with candy.

"Don't worry Riku, that candy won't go to waste!" Sora said as he put his head in the shower of sugar and opened his mouth.

Riku rolled his eyes and started moving forward, Sora awkwardly half bending, half eating and half moon walking beside him.

Riku and Sora continued walking/moon walking like this for some time. After this time expired, Riku stopped Sora chewing like a mad man, Riku saw a group of heartless start to emerge in front of them.

"Sora!" Riku shouted, alerting Sora about the threat.

"Protect the candy!" Sora yelled as he whisked his keyblade to his hand. Sora moon walked towards the heartless at an immense speed, and started bashing heartless. One after one the Shadows were slowing being pushed back, and Sora and Riku thought victory was already in their bellies. That's when it happened.

~x~

A heartless snuck past Sora and Riku and began eating away all the candy. When Sora and Riku looked back at their bags, they were empty. The fat heartless burped with dear satisfaction. Riku felt the air tighten and Sora's eye began to twitch. Sora's hand started shaking uncontrollably and now both his eyes were flickering.

Riku disappeared in a puff of strawberries as Sora entered his Valor (Brave) form. "AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH! URGONNADIE UMODERF****R!" Sora screamed at a eye shattering blast. He moon slid over to the heartless and began his harsh combo on it. Bam, boom, pow, whack, slice, boing, tink, thwack, zoom, watermelon! Sora blasted out his anger on the heartless.

He kept up smashing the heartless to bits, until it eventually dispersed in a flash of darkness. Sora stood were he was, he hadn't let all his anger out yet. He bellowed an all mighty yell and the earth around him was obliterated.

Strawberries gathered to a single point and Riku then emerged out of them. He looked at Sora and the crisp earth that surrounded him.

"Hey, you wanna buy some candy?"


End file.
